Scribblings ♥

Why is it that

people can make you feel so worthless?

Why is it that the people who are meant to love you are the ones who really just don’t care?

Why is it that you can have everything you have ever dreamed of, but people make you feel like you want to be somewhere else?

Why is it that others can’t judge when you’re feeling this crappy, choosing instead to indulge in their own selfish pleasures?

Yet…

Why is it that someone who you have only known for a short while, who barely knows anything about you and who clearly has better things to do in their life than cheer someone up, make you feel so wonderful, appreciated and blessed to be where you are today.

Thank you K <3

People who think depression is a choice: take a second to think. How would it feel to wake up and not have the emotional strength to face people…to think that time is just passing by with no real reason…to feel so alone, even when you are sitting in a room full of people…to have to put on a face and hide your feelings because no one would care anyway…to lose friends because you can’t find the strength to go out and you can’t physically be ‘happy’…to cry yourself to sleep, hoping you won’t wake up, then when you do, you are exhausted from the night before, and it all starts again. You try to hide your feelings hoping no one will notice, and if you slip up, all you get called is attention-seeking and ‘emo’. Now, tell me why someone would choose that? Depression is an illness, not a choice.

(Source: youcreatedthismonster, via charlotte-in-wonderland)

When You’re Texting Someone and They Suddenly Sext You

chinchy188:

I’ve missed you…

Sometimes it takes some distance to realise just how great someone is. I’m sorry I had to hurt you in the process of discovering myself but I am so blessed that you loved and believed in me enough to wait for me. I am so glad I met you, thank you for the past two years - I love you and I want to continue loving you until you get sick of me! &hearts; &hearts; &hearts;

Livi vs The Yanks: Day 2 “I’ll have those two”

OMG I AM BEING EATEN ALIIIIIIVE (by mozzies not bears!) But yeah its bad I have a about 8 on each leg and have now been informed that the mozzies here have some sort of virus that can be passed on to us - yeaaaaah I’m sure I have that now!

Anyway HOWDY Y’ALL :) ready for another witty blog entry? Haha lets be real now this is me writing this which means it will be neither witty nor clever but rambling.

So Day 2 of Colorado…well for some reason they were convinced we hadnt been bored to tears with the presentations about ‘adjusting to life at CSU’ so decided to repeat them. Unfortunately today decided to be the hottest day I have experienced and therefore we all cooked slightly. They again split us into groups (where I was in a group with lots of people, none of whom spoke English) where some random CSU students gave us a patronizing talk about what it means to be a ‘cheater’ - um hello? Surely everyone, despite their culture, know about that? Do they think we are stupid? Literally I sat there with my arms folded and a mosh on my face, I wasn’t having any of it - as you can probably tell I was Miss Popular in the group. This entire state has made me realise how much of a sarcastic bitch I really am. Like I will make sarky comments to the other students about the meetings here and they look at me like I’m the biggest bitch on the planet so I have to immediately say in a chirpy voice ‘ONLY KIDDING I LOVE BEING TREATED LIKE A CHILD HERE’ (which is again sarcastic - will never learn). Ok so I’m putting a downer on this again it was just the morning that pissed me off because they are repeating what they said yesterday and treating us like the properly foreign students where they are completely new to this. Not cool CSU, not cool.

So after the ‘activities’ we were taken to the local Hilton Hotel for the President’s Address - the blonde bimbo in me thought Obama was coming to town. But no its the president of the uni of course and he gave some speech about his trips aborad to recruit people to the uni which I giggled at coz it made him sound like some sort of pimp for the uni (no one shared my laughter). But ya know it was nice to feel so welcome because then we were welcomed further by members of the community. After this was the beginning of the ‘dinner with the locals’ programme that I think I mentioned yesterday where we get  to be taken back to a local family’s house for dinner. Myself, English Claudia, Aussie Claudia and Aussie Nick all decided to be the ones to stick around to participate - the others including Jim buggered off! They brought the families to the front of the hall and then the families had to pick who they wanted to take home with them!!! How cringeO I genuinly felt like an orphan at a foster home being brought in front of prospective parents. We thought about scarpering but then what would I have to write about in my blog? Like a good little journalist-to-be I decided to take this opportunity in order to inspire my writing whilst also embrace the free food and chance to nosy around an American home. 

So yeah we all sat there waiting to be picked when some older lady came up to me and English Claudia and was like ‘I’ll have those two’ indicating us to stand up and follow her. We felt like apples picked at the market. They didnt want the bruised apples, they picked the ripe ones that were us :) HELLS YEAH. However this feeling didnt really kick in till later because we were laughing so much by the fact that we were doing this, very mature I know. So she led us and a few more students from around the globe away to her car and she drove us to her house. She (Karen was her name) seemed nice but kinda bossy and definitely a woman to kick my sorry, sarcastic ass. Luckily it didnt get to that stage! Her house she shared with eccentric husband John was the cutest thing!! Typical American household on the outside and even more typical on the inside. I wanted to cover it in chocolate and dip it in my coffee it was that sweet. Claudia and I asked if she wanted help making dinner and we expected her to say no but not Karen - she straight away gave us a million jobs, which was actually alright because we were glad to help. I mean this woman was cooking for the 5000 and she almost WAS 5000 - I hope she never reads this! But you know it was fun. We sat on their porch with spaghetti and meatballs and chatted to the other international students who I took for having no English at all. So you learn a new thing every day. Karen and John had some good advice about where to go in Fort Collins and were just so nice :) they even dropped us home after! So yeah good times.

When I got back Braiden Hall was in full swing - most of the remaining students moved in today so there was a party going on in the front hall. I was just gonna go and shower but then I bumped into my American neighbor and her mate who were enamored with my accent and invited me to go downstairs with them - THEY TAUGHT ME HOW TO DOUGIE :D I looked like a damn fool but I in turn taught them how to do the Time Warp properly - silly yanks were all confused. FYI I still dont know what a dougie is or how to do it I just wiggled my shoulders like some suave black guy in an attempt to look cool. Story of my life really, wiggling around to look cool. By this time though I was all dougie-d out and went back to my room. At this point I hadnt heard from Jim for like 4 hours and was well confused when he wasnt in his room but he turned up at mine half an hour later. He had gone out with the Aussies/Brits to get American phones then had dinner. How is it that I was blissfully unaware that he was cavorting around town? I swear this boy never contacts me about anything! But we had fun just chilling in my room for a bit coz its nice to have some Liv’n’Jim time after the hectic day. His room is down the hall from mine so its easy to hang out then for him to go back to his room. Theres no 20 min walk to Robot House anymore!

Anyway I have to clean up the room before Kailee gets here because it is a damn mess. So I better bounce. Tomorrow, whilst the rest of campus is moving in, myself and the Aussies/Brits are gonna go swimming in the reservoir off campus, swimming is sorely missed in the blistering heat. And its great coz we have a day off!!! Then I’ll probs come back to my room to meet new people, so nothing too major but as usual I will keep you updated with whats going on! I hope people are actually enjoying this now coz either I will get bored writing it or you guys will get bored reading it so I want to keep the entertainment up as long as possible!

I hope you are all ok and I’m still missing everyone lots!

Lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssss

Livi xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PS: there is a Diet Coke vending machine that is practically from the future - I will film someone using it coz it has to be seen to be believed! Oh and its like 80p British money for a big bottle :) AMAZEBALLS

Colorado Adventures: Day 1 (starting with the evening I got there…)

Hi people who are reading this (which I hope are friends since I can’t actually contact you otherwise!)

So here I am! Colorado and wow guys this place is AMAZING! Everywhere is mountains and the temp is humid yet nice. 

However when I first arrived I didnt give a shit about the landscape - I had been up for almost 24 hours British time and had spent 9 hours on a contraption I despise whilst chasing the sun, thus confuzzling my little brain into thinking that 15th August 2011 went on FOREVER. When we landed it was so surreal, like I was LIVING here - no going back. We met a few more British students who seemed friendly enough and an Australian guy who called me a Pommie (which means British person) but I thought it was an insult. Typical me. I excitedly talked for about half an hour then did something that was near impossible on the plane - sleep on Jim’s shoulder. They literally had to carry me out of the van! Going into Braiden Halls was a big blur of signing my name and forgetting my CSU ID number before I was carted upstairs. But by the time I got to my room I was buzzing again which led to me talking alot to some nice American students and the British girl who is my next door neighbour and shares my bathroom. The rooms are big - like not Digby sharing room big but ya know bigger than Digby rooms - actually the CUPBOARDS are bigger than Digby rooms arf arf arf :) you can choose to have the higher bed that you can elevate even higher or the lower bed. I chose the latter because allow falling out of bed, I cant even reach the floor on the lower bed. They came without bedding, which is shit coz they know we can’t carry bedding with us so slept with a thin sheet and my towel as a pillow. So yeah not the best of nights! Woke up at 3am assuming it was about 10am - grumblegrumble.

Day 1 of the torture that is Orientation - so you know in Leicester there was one parent talk before they literally shoved us in the halls to make friends with the mantra ‘dont die and everything will be fine’? Yeah, not here. Here we were woken up for 7:45am registration where we meet other foreign students (majority Chinese who keep themselves to themselves). We found out that there are two other Leicester students here who are on a Chemistry year abroad so we, along with some uni I’ve never heard of, dominate the International students woop woop that makes us super cool :S But then they seperated us into groups to meet our Cultural Mentors - older students who have nothing better to do than make up stupid games to make us remember each others names. It was the worst thing I could think of to do at 8am when I’m severly jet lagged and starving I mean COME ON! They seperated us AWAY from the American students - the one set of students that we are meant to be mingling with! The English and Australian people are so much fun to hang out with but we all agree we wanna hang out with the American students too so it was shit to be permanently classified as different to everyone else. Surely we are meant to be blending in????

Anyway, so after the torture of throwing a water bottle at some elderly Chinese woman’s head whilst shouting her name in an attempt to remember it (see told you the games were shit) we went into a large hall where we were subjugated to 12 CSU students making us chant their local ‘fighting’ song (complete with hand gestures OF COURSE) which was unnecessary and humiliating. As you can tell, by this point I was already in a bad mood from jet lag, which is why I think I didn’t enjoy anything till mid afternoon, so all this shouting and name calling was just making it worse. I mean I want to make the most of my time here but there are limits.

Before you think I’m hating it here it did get better!!! Although the sun was lovely in the morning we did have rain. Rain here is warm and the droplets are HUGE! Like having a bath lol! They dont last for long but we had a storm where we saw fork lightening on the way to the bus stop -  I usually hate lightening but there was something so beautiful about the way it lit up the mountains. We were taken for some more talks about our time here before going to meet with our exchange co ordinator (the one I’ve been emailing) Mr Robert Booker. Guys this man is AWESOME! Today he was wearing a shirt with all flags of the world on it - he is the International Co ordinator after all! He looks like the KFC man and everytime I see him I want him to be armed with southern fried chicken. He gave us a talk about our time here and stuff, it was better than the other talks though because he engaged us rather than talked over us. After that it was off to get RAMcards (student cards with money on them) and then me Jim Claudia Sharmaine and Sylvarin (other exchange students) went to WALMART!!! We needed bedding man I couldn’t sleep on my towel for another night. We had to get a bus which was highlarious but we got to see the town more clearly - can’t wait to explore. The Walmart is huge, I have taken so many pictures of funny things to show u guys! We had a manic search for cheap bedding, first picking up small sheets then realising too late that we needed XL and having to exchange them at customer service - we were on a tight schedule to get the last bus (given this was like 6pm - actually allow) back to campus. We got out in time but as we were walking along who should drive up but Mr Booker in his little American Lexus. He jumps out and immediatly starts putting our stuff in his car almost as if we had called him like a taxi! I mean no idea how he knew we would be there but then I found out he was on his way home but saw us and decided to give us a lift back to our halls - so cute! He gave us a running commentary of the different buildings we passed. I was laughing so hard about how surreal it was he was like our father picking us up drunk after a night out! But its nice to know he is willing to do so much to ensure our safety and well being at this uni.

Tonight I was meant to be going to dinner with other exchange students but after our Walmart fiasco we decided to have a quite one by ordering in pizza at some random hall (the front desk call deliveries for u and then its delivered to the halls ur in even if it isnt ur hall) which cost us $4 each for a ten inch pizza. My money is travelling faaaaasssst but I have to go back to Walmart on Friday for MORE essentials so I need to get a job now lol! I mean generally its been a really fun day :) Kailee moves in on Thursday so if I’m on skype with anyone soon I’ll get her to say hi. Most of the Americans around here are lovely - they love our accent especially Jims! They think hes Aussie/Irish/the works haha so confused! They ask me weird questions like ‘whats a duvet?’ and ‘do you guys use the word snogging?’ but tbf I’ve asked some crackers myself. 

Right I’m shattered and I have rambled enough. It’s only 11.30pm but I’m going to bed - I have a later start tomorrow which is cool. Tomorrows entry should be interesting as I have signed up to an activity where myself and two other exchange students are invited to dinner by a local family in Fort Collins to learn about the town itself and American customs. I refused at first thinking I’m not friendly enough to be polite (haha lol) but ya know how many times can I say I’ve done this? I’ll keep you updated with how its gone. Also the exchange programme have organised a FREE trip up the mountains to their campus up there for a weekend in September - I can’t wait!!

I love all of you and miss you very much. I hope you like this blog idea, please all get tumblr so you can read it! I also wanna know how you guys are getting on so please email me on FB :)

Goodnight( though its technically good morning for you)

Lots of Love Livi xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx